2-for-1 Special

When I was in high school, I went on this AMAZING school trip called the Leadership Conference. Now this trip wasn’t about being a leader or how to be a leader despite the name, this trip was meant as a way to break down stereotypes and help create diversity at my school. Students from all walks of life were brought together when we normally would have never talked to each other otherwise. It was a quick two day trip that had an impact to last a lifetime.

The first day we were all gathered to do silly ice breakers like we were in elementary gym class. We did trust falls and had a blindfold walk through the woods to get us to low element courses. At night our small groups put on a little skit and whoever had the best skit got to go to the dinner buffet first. After dinner we met kids our age who were in rehab. Their stories moved some of us to tears. After they left the school social worker led all 40-somewhat of us in a group conversation. No topic was off limits. For the first time in our lives we had the opportunity to speak to someone who would listen. More than that, for the first time for most of us, we felt comfortable enough to open to our peers about pressing issues. Sex, drugs, racism, rape, stereotypes, homosexuality. I wish I had enough time to write about everything we talked about, but unless you were there, you will never understand the power of these conversations. No words, no description, no recount of this trip will ever be the same to actually being there.

Since we were all strangers brought friends, at first, there was some name calling and some hurtful words said. We didn’t even realize we were doing it at first. These slurs were just a common part of our lives and our cliques, how were we supposed to know how truly hurtful we were being? How were we supposed to know that our parents lied to us when they said “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Phrases such as “that’s retarded” and “no homo” were thrown around like a dandelion seed in the wind. Little did you know the person next to you had an older sibling with special needs and had to face the cruelty of people’s words everyday. Some people had to hide their sexual orientation from their family, so “no homo” became a reminder of the lie they had to live as to not get kicked out of the house.

It’s only when you start paying attention to your words and actions do you realize how they truly affect those around you. Our group leaders implemented the 2 for 1 special. For every negative or hurtful thing we said about ourselves or someone else we would have to say two nice or positive things. When you’ve grown to hate someone or a group of people or you’ve grown to hate yourself, saying something positive can be torture. Eventually though, we all were more aware of our words and how we spoke to each other and how we spoke about ourselves. It’s incredible how changing “I can’t,” to “I can do this. I can try,” will change your life as well. It’s not just about the words you’re using, but the message they give to you. The next time you find yourself in a bad mood or talking negatively try using the 2-for-1 special. I even have my coworkers use this. They all laughed at first and thought I was kidding, but it really does help create a more positive experience.